It's a girl!!!

We left the hotel at 2 this afternoon and rode about 20 minutes by bus to the Civil Affairs Office in Guangzhou. There were many families there (from many other agencies) to meet their kids, and the large room was filled with anxious parents-to-be, stuffed animals, cameras, video recorders, tripods, etc. The children were kept in a room off the the side, concealed by a curtain. We knew they were in there, though, because many were not so happy to be meeting their new parents. This is a VERY stressful time for the children and there is really not any way to make it much easier. Several children were still arriving, and parents strained to try to catch a glimpse of them getting off the elevators. When they called our daughter's name and brought her out, she was one of the crying-not-happy-to-meet-you varieties. She looked very shy, sad, and confused. I knelt down close to her and began to softly call her by her Chinese name. Xiao Xiao (shaow shaow) is what she is used to being called. I slowly moved closer and took her in my arms, trying to comfort her, but not very successfully. After only a few minutes, one of the Chinese staff said something to her in stern Chinese and she immediately stopped crying. I think they reprimanded her for crying for her new Ba Ba (Daddy). The Chinese people like to present a good impression, but I wish they would have let her cry it out-- it is healthy for the children to grieve during this time. I then picked her up and held her while a few things were finalized and we left. She did not cry anymore, but she had a haunting, hollow look in her eyes-- a look we have seen in some of her previous pictures.

early moments with Ba Ba

She clutched this candy bar with a death grip. She never took another bite, but held it until we were back at the hotel for almost an hour. After all that time, she plopped down on the floor and ate every bite!

early moments with Ba Ba

I believe I have better photos of the actual moment we met, but they are on someone else's camera. I will track them down when everyone gets settled in. These were taken after several minutes had passed.

Once back at the hotel, the 3 dads met in my room with our guide to do some paperwork. This took 30-45 minutes, during which time she played quietly with some toys on the bed. Toward the end of the meeting she peeked around the corner at me, and when I peeked back, she flashed a brief grin-- the first mutually positive interaction between the two of us.

Once the other 2 dads left, I slowly began joining in her play and she really started to loosen up. We quickly got to the point of laughing and giggling together while being silly with the toys. I frequently attempted to say "I love you" in Chinese. After quite a while of this, I am almost positive she said "I love you" back to me. Immediately, also, she emotionally went flat. The haunting look came back in her eyes and they welled up with tears, though she refused to cry-- perhaps remembering the nanny's earlier rebuke. She also refused to look me in the eyes. There are things that go on in these kid's heads that we will never understand-- it's just part of the process, but in the early stages of adoption, this is a very healthy response to the situation. I held her for a while, then let her go. She went to the other side of the room and in her own way, she worked out whatever it was she was feeling. My heart broke for her, but I was expecting some of this in the early days. Slowly and shyly, at first, she worked her way closer to me and began to peek glances at me. I peeked back, eventually got another one of those little grins, and she slowly worked her way back from wherever she had been.

She seems bright. She recognized the family pictures, so someone has been preparing her for this day. We are grateful to them, whoever they are-- probably her foster parents. She repeated car and baby and says bye-bye and waves. Just about everything else is in Chinese and I only understand about 3 words of that-- mommy, daddy, and older brother. Despite this, it did not feel at all like we could not communicate. Communicationally, we got through the evening pretty well. (If only it were that easy with the people at the seven-eleven store!). She is potty trained and used the toilet independently several times throughout the evening.

I had not planned to give her a bath tonight. In fact, I was just going to let her sleep in the clothes she was wearing when she came to me, in an effort to keep some stability in her day. However, shortly before bed she went in the bathroom and began to play with the tub faucet. I ran a little water in the tub, took off her shoes, and stood her in the tub. She started to take her little skirt off, but was going to get it wet. I took that as meaning "I want a bath". I got her back out of the tub and she undressed and got back in. We both worked on a quick bath, but I'm not sure who ended up more wet-- she has an ornery streak. The really neat thing was that I sat in the bathroom and watched her (at 3 1/2 years old) unbutton all 4 buttons on her top, independently-- even though she has only one hand! She struggled a bit, but that is just part of her world.

After her bath, I put a little nightgown on her and got out a comb to comb her hair. She suddenly grabbed her little Dora clutch and the comb and did a little glamour routine. I grabbed the camera-- it was a hoot! These were classic Kodak moments!

I sat her on my lap and combed her hair for several minutes. She relaxed and began sucking her middle fingers. She started blinking slowly and I carried her to the bed. She pointed to the in-room crib and I laid her in there and she looked very content. I sat on the bed and she rolled on her side toward the wall and sucked her fingers some more. After a few minutes, she turned her head toward me, gave a little smile, turned back toward the wall, and drifted off to sleep quickly and peacefully. She has been peacefully sleeping for over an hour now.

I don't know what tomorrow will bring, but this is one I won't soon forget. There is more I could say, but tonight I feel like a very blessed man-- Good night my favorite Dylan, good night my favorite Zachary, and good night my favorite Xiao Xiao.